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VerbaTim by Tim Mitchell


03.28.01 -- Lisa Links

I've done a lot of web surfing in my time, and this has led me to one inescapable conclusion.

The ugliest, most irritating, most hate-inspiring web sites I've run across were all created by someone named "Lisa."

Don't believe me? Here, have some MIDI music that'll make you want to kill:

Horrible Lisa Web Site Numero Uno

Part of it is how these Lisas think every detail of their lives is fascinating. Example:

A Lisa Puts Up a Photo of Herself Doing the Macarena with a Guy in a Raccoon Suit

Here's a Lisa whose web site consists of almost nothing at all except a questionnaire to rate her web site, which consists of nothing except the questionnaire to rate her web site. Did you follow that?

A Lisa Creates a Paradox

But, worst and most frightening of all, are Lisas who put "poetry," including their own and John Denver's on their web sites:

Not the Worst Web Site Created by a Lisa, Hard as That May Be to Believe When You See It

Be sure and look out for this line:

Was the fork you took so long ago
the reason for your heartaches

Well, yeah. Go around stealing silverware and you're gonna get some grief.

If you've spotted a hideous abomination of a web site by someone named Lisa, feel free to forward it to me. And if you're a Lisa who's created a graphically stunning web site that is entertaining and engaging, and is about something other than your fucking cats, I'd love to hear from you.


Tim Mitchell, Comedian

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